Excerpt #3 – “Bastard Pickney: The Jamaican Journal”

Ivette continues to pour out her heart.  Let’s hear her out…

Soh mi siddung deh pon di toilet a ponder an a wonder an suddenly it hit mi.  Why me one deh ya a struggle fi sen Anita an Tabitha goh a school when is not me one get dem? An both a dem faada alive an kickin?

Tabitha faada im migrate to England when shi was six an God bless di amount a time im sen money fi har.  Anita wutliss, dutty pupa live up a Mona Estate.  He is a big-time Customs Broker down a wharf an di amount a money wha mi hear seh im a mek is a shame dat im not minding im dawta! Mi hear from good source seh im a drive a brand new BMW an a add on another floor pon di big rahtid five bedroom house wha im live inna.  As a matter o fact, odda day when mi a walk an sell, mi pass im yawd an mi seet wid mi own two yeye dem! Soh me cyaan understan why a me one deh yah a struggle fi sen im flesh an blood goh school when tings a gwaan f’im.

Barrington stop support Anita from shi was t’ree year old.  Mi hear seh di red gyal wha im married to obeah im mek im cyaan gi mi nutten fi Nita.  But, mi nuh believe dat a blouse an skirt! Barry jus wutliss y’a.  Him don’t offer any assistance with Nita an I don’t ask im fi none.  Mi sister dem advise mi fi carry im a Family Court but mi jus cyan bother wid di whole heap a legal wranglings.  An if mi haffi force a man fi tek care a im owna seed, it jus don’t mek no sense.  But mi tink di time come fi puddung mi foot now; this cannot continue – Barrington must acknowledge im responsibility.  Mi tiad! Every day, every year a me one.  Nuh sangkie nuh sing soh.

That’s when mi decide fi sen Nita up a Mona Estate fi goh look f’im an mek im give har di money dat shi need.  But, di ol fart a play game! Shi goh up deh Saturday an come back come tell mi seh, “Him helper seh im not there, Mummy!” Yesterday shi return wid har mouth long like hog pickney, pon di verge a tears an seh, “Mummy, nobody never answer mi.  Mi n’a goh back up deh again!”

Soh, Monday, September 6th come find mi still owing Olson school t’ree grand on di tuition fee, one thousan five fi insurance, thousan dolla fi Caution Fee and five hundred dolla fi registration fee – a grand total of six thousan dolla wha mi nuh have!   So, of course, as much as shi protest, ah had to send Anita back up there this morning.  When shi start grumble an stamp har foot dem, mi haffi draw di mopstick an threaten fi lick har dung if shi nuh duh wha mi tell har fi duh.  Afta shi leave di yawd, mi feel soh bad dat mi goh hide roun a back soh dat Tabby couldn’t si mi, an cry again.

The last ting ah ever want is to be a bad modda.  An is not Nita fault dat mi goh breed fi a dutty crobait man-frame.  It not fair dat shi have to goh through dem kinda sumting yah.  Me shoulda be di one fi goh up there, ah know, but mi jus never know what mi woulda duh if mi si Barry again.  Wid all di anger wha mi have inna mi heart f’im, mi woulda prob’ly commit murder if im tell mi any foolinish…soh, a hope ounu can understan why mi had to mek Nita goh…mi jus never have nuh other choice…


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